There's a problem when it comes to talking to people who aren’t happy about their life. Often and easily I found myself with the comment that I’m unable to sympathise with them because I'm never in their shoes. To a certain extend i agree, to another extend I don’t. At the very least, I do hate myself too.

My dearest girls (and readers), let us come to agree that there is really no perfect people in the whole and that everyone has different experience. Therefore, I do have my own hurt and pain that I’ve gotto settles like you do. Some people numb themselves by getting drunk, some escape from it, of cause there are people who face it head on just to find themselves very badly hurt in a bloody battle - winning or losing is no longer an issue anymore for they were hurt even further. There are people who hide their problem hoping that no one will ever notice. These people portraits themselves as a "perfect" image, thus, giving us an illusion that there are really perfect persons around.

Here, I should say that I'm not a perfect person although some may "see" me as one. I've my wounds and bruise to heal too. I should share how I've been dealing them recently. Together with all the counselling I’m doing, I thought I'm going crazy or having split personality anytime soon. The case was not as such. I've tried escaping from it by moving out and changing an environment. It din works. I tried going overseas for holidays, it did not also. The holiday made me a little worst, thanks to those unintentional jokes. What else can I do? - Nothing much actually. After that holiday, I went for a camp for graduating students organised by NTU Chinese Christian Fellowship. Thinking that I can get rid a bit of my emotional unstableness during the camp, I did not but I’ve controlled well enough. I was still haunted with my wounds and bruise. The camp has not much help I'm still not released from my thoughts, there was still no conclusion. Finally, I tried running. Yes, during the run everything was fine and for once there was hope. But that was a temporary relief. I do still hate myself for who I am. The conclusion I drew was that I'm too much a perfectionist who loves victory too much. I'm not forgiving to myself.

The only time I knew I'm truly relieved was when God touched my heart. His hands felt my wounds and my bruise. That's when i felt healed and I've got strength to stand against another immediate attempt to hurt me. I should say, God heals but I'm self accusing. Self accusing is like suicide to me. At times self accusing helps makes me a better person; at time it left me bloodily. Still God is the healer and I urge myself to seek His Kingdom and His righteousness and most importantly His healing hands and love.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” - Matthew 6:33

The following essay written by a student shot dead in her school after being asked to give up her believe in Christainity. I'll like to dedicate this essay to my friends who are studying ethics for Engineer and Society paper. Ethics is just so subjective, personally I like Rachel's theory. Try taking up her challenge and test it out, see how true can it be. Let us spread compassion and love to the world, to those who are leak of it.  - JY 

Ethics vary with environment, circumstances, and culture. In my own life, ethics play a major role. Whether it was because of the way I was raised, the experiences I've had, or just my outlook on the world and the way things should be. My biggest aspects of ethics include being honest, compassionate, and looking for the best and beauty in everyone.

I have been told repeatedly that I trust people too easily, but I find that when I put my faith and trust in people when others would not dare to, they almost never betray me. I would hope that people would put that same faith in me. Trust and honesty is an investment you put in people; if you build enough trust in them and show yourself to be honest they will so the same in you. I value honesty so much, and it is an expectation I have of myself. I will put honesty before the risk of humiliation, before selfishness, and before anything less worthy of the Gospel truth. Even in being honest and trust worthy, I do not come off cold and heartless. Compassion and honesty go hand in hand, if enough of each is put into every situation. I admire those who trust and are trust worthy.

Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer. According to Webster's Dictionary compassion means a feeling of sympathy for another's misfortune. My definition of compassion is forgiving, loving, helping, leading, and showing mercy for others. I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how for a little kindness can go.

It wasn't until recently that I learned that the first and the second and the third impressions can be deceitful of what kind of person someone is. For example, imagine you had just met someone, and you speak with them three times on brief everyday conversation. They come off as a harsh, cruel, stubborn, and ignorant person. You reach your judgement based on just these three encounters. Let me ask you something... did you experience love, did they experience hurt, did you look into their soul and not just at their appearance? Until you know them and not just their "type", you have no right to shun them. You have not looked for their beauty, their good. You have not seen the light in their eyes. Look hard enough and you will always find a light, and you can even help it grow, if you don't walk away from those three impressions first.

I am sure that my code of life may be very different from yours, but how do you know that trust, compassion, and beauty will not make this world a better place to be in and this life a better one to live? My code may seem like a fantasy that can never be reached, but test them for yourself, and see the kind of effect they have in the lives of people around you. You just may start a chain.